To begin with Here I am, this is me,
The one trying to break from shackles free…
To fly far away in the blue summer skies
Far away from tears ,pain, sorrows and lies.
The knots tying me down to this wordly place
Making it impossible for me to join the race.
I long to soar and the join the truimphant roar
Of each one who managed to slip through that door.
Each knot getting tighter each day by day
Leaving me with far less things to say.
Would there be any redemption for me
A day when I could just be myself and me??
Am sure its that moment I see lurking near
Giving me the strength n courage to face my fear.
Soon you will see my soaring oh so high.
A freedom that makes me reach out to the sky.
Archive for the ‘Random thoughts’ Category
Shackles
December 16th, 2009
Solace…
November 8th, 2009
A heart that once was
Is now in but a clench of pain
By your hurful actions n words
What did you really gain?
Bleeding and hurting
I was left to wither and die
Is it any wonder from the world
And You I now just shy.
Each accusation and each lie
Cutting through me like a knife
Causing so much of hurt
And so much more stress n strife.
When I pledged my life with you
My eyes shining oh so bright
To my life that was a tunnel
At the end of which you were the light.
Thirteen years down the line
You ask me what I have done for you
As if all these years have just flown past
And I am someone totally new.
I now just believe in the one above
The one who destines it all
The one in whom I take solace
For he picks me up after each fall.
Maybe its time for you to start out
And try to do the same…..
Start life afresh with all changes
And start a clean new game.
Questions ….
November 3rd, 2009
What do I from my life seek ??
My mind at its questioning peak..
Every moment asking me why?
From all thats around me I shy.
Where do I seek to go from here?
More questions as my grave I near
Will my soul transform and live on?
My body die to give my soul a new dawn?
Peace that my soul seeks come after I leave,
After people I leave behind just grieve.
To God now as seems my leaning
Searching on this journey some meaning.
Words unspoken
August 25th, 2009
Each word you want to hear
I say it without a sound
Every word that I so fear
In silence not to be found.
My tears are the words I speak
The silence saying whats within
Pain as it rises and peaks
Sending sanity on a crazy spin.
Damage they did, the words spoken
Relationships they turned to dust
All bindings that were broken’
As your words just broke my trust.
Speak now I do ,without a word
Letting silence reach out to you
For words are double edged a sword
Their meanings often not very true.
This Mind O Mine..
July 17th, 2009
A whisper of thoughts
Struggling in my mind
A fight of haves and nots
Each trying hard to find
A foothold to make it
And see who finally wins
A light bulb to be lit
The one that speaks of sins.
A tussle they seem to have fought
Each one claiming its right
Positivity and negative thoughts
As they battle and fight.
A see saw of emotions
Sometimes up & at times low
Ridding me of some notions
Advicing me to ride the flow.
Lets see where it takes me
This roller coaster mind of mine
What else would I have to see
Before I claim to be truly fine.
In silence
May 27th, 2009
I sink into a silent retreat
Looking for a place to hide
I watch my tired running feet
As life becomes one tough ride.
The silence it coldly greets me
Welcoming me with an open arm
Making me see things I should see
Hoping to keep me away from harm.
Silence offers a cold , frozen comfort
Chilling me to my very bone
Shielding me from words that hurt
Making me so very alone.
Silence teaches me who I am
And what I was never meant to be
The thoughts from which I seem to run
Flashing again for me to see.
Silence , without words it speaks
Mocking me , laughing at my plight
The want to flee as it peaks
What can you keep from others sight?
Hide from others that you may do
For you just want to get some space
But hide from you,thats something new!
For your mind always catches up in this race.
Silence thrills but also kills
So I heard some wise one say
After every one of my tears do spill
I hope to wake up to another day.
A distant star.
May 27th, 2009
In the horizon at a distance I see a glowing star
I tried to reach for it but it kept moving far…
A useless chase that followed brought me no joy
For the star that seemed so near played me for a toy.
It would taunt and come closer making me believe
I could touch it someday if I only just heaved.
Only to see it zip past me and move to a distance
Day by day making a mockery of all my innocence.
Why then does it shine so, drawing me to its warmth
Glittering and glowing bowling me over with its charm
For it has no intentions of letting me hold it in my hands
The destiny it seeks taking it to some faraway lands.
Dont reach for what you cant have , that what it teaches
For some things in life are always beyond our reaches.
An awakening…
May 1st, 2009
As my drifting thoughts flow free
I discover a peace so deep within me
The turbulence of thoughts quietening
In me giving rise to an awakening.
I take my life in my own hands
Making my decisions taking my stands
For thats all I have control over
And thats how it will be forever.
So here I am in the here and now
At peace with me & content in my love
For I humbly accept it as it is
Thats the only way to my own bliss.
The green eyed Monster.
April 28th, 2009
Do you see the someone that I see
Rearing the green eyed head at me?
A squeezing hand clutching my heart
Just as my eyes begin to burn and smart.
A new distraction coming your way
One that I feel for a while is there to stay.
I struggle with my feelings within
Thoughts sending my mind on a spin .
Fear and jealousy chokes my thought
Would you still be there with me or not?
The new distraction taunts and smiles
The thought grating me as it riles.
Maybe you will some day turn and see
I am still waiting where you left me.
For me I just cannot see beyond you
You live in my heart , as very few do.
The way I feel, that I know is forever
The love I feel just wont change , Never .
So lets put all the green thoughts away
For I am here forever to stay 
Strained………
April 14th, 2009
I thought we were friends
But you became a stranger
A relationship that never ends
You risked it for life’s wager
The subtle ways you moved
Killed my spirits day by day
Till you had me all removed
Clearly out of your way.
An explanation or a word
I was denied of even that respect
Through your silence though I heard
What from you I never did expect.
Did I ever matter I wonder
For you let go of me so fast
Was I your biggest blunder
For as friends we were meant to last.
I hurt a lot , I may not say so
For my heart bleeds tears each day
For now I just keep myself low
Keeping a distance In every lil way
I hope some day you realize and see
When things are all settled and fine,
You may not understand how you hurt me
But I still wait for you to call me Mine.
