Memories as they crest and fall,
As the darkness of the night calls,
A breeze touching her face so light,
Draining her completely of her fight.
A misery that overwhelms her being
As if for the first time one is seeing
A person standing so aloof and alone
Within her so battered and so torn.
As alone as she , a lone tear rolls
A cry from the very depth of her soul…
Heart so hurt its now turned cold
Icy fingers now clutch it in its hold
Dare you hold her unsteady hand
Help her up and make her stand
Give her the warmth she so craves
Before she makes her home in her grave.
A silent breeze touches my face
At last I see myself out of the race
For I feel no more out of place
Protected by all of Gods Grace.
The quietness around beckons me
For there is a lot to feel n see
To let myself stay n let me be
From my minds tangles set free.
Across the earth silken ropes slant
The cleansing that’s heaven sent
Rains poured as if it was meant
To clean me ,who was totally spent.
On me as the rains lashed down
Wiping away from my face the frown
Refusing to let me go and drown
Or mope and cry in Sadness town.
The clouds in my mind clears
As I join my friends my peers
As the rain washes away my tears
For I have no more demons or fears.
My lips widen in a broad smile
The smile refuses to reach the eye
But the eyes remain still dry
For I refuse to cry.
A fear freezes my heart cold
But the face reflects a look so bold
But my eyes still remain dry
For I now refuse to cry.
Anger that is seen in my gaze
A fire that sets my heart ablaze
But my eyes still are dry
For i just don’t want to cry.
A hope that is truly finally dead
No trust for hearts completely bled
My eyes still remain dry
For they just don’t wanna cry
A love that blazes within
May never yet shine again
For my eyes have gone so dry
I will never ever again cry
A hollow feeling haunts me
Why so much do I miss thee….
My heart as it bleeds a tear
May never see you again I fear.
My smiles and laughter all abound
Torn apart by my tears not to be found
Hope and trust shattered and strewn
As in a gloomy sadness I just drown.
I need a new start a new beginning
A sense of happiness ,a new feeling
Away from this shattered ruins around
A new Me that has to be found.
So God would you help me just seek
A me that is far from sad and meek
One who smiles even through sadness
Who accepts hurts with much more gladness.
I need to develop a stronger me
One that’s invincible so to see
A woman not so weak n fragile
One who has to travel many a mile.
To begin with Here I am, this is me,
The one trying to break from shackles free…
To fly far away in the blue summer skies
Far away from tears ,pain, sorrows and lies.
The knots tying me down to this wordly place
Making it impossible for me to join the race.
I long to soar and the join the truimphant roar
Of each one who managed to slip through that door.
Each knot getting tighter each day by day
Leaving me with far less things to say.
Would there be any redemption for me
A day when I could just be myself and me??
Am sure its that moment I see lurking near
Giving me the strength n courage to face my fear.
Soon you will see my soaring oh so high.
A freedom that makes me reach out to the sky.
A sad song beats a rhythm
As tears roll down my eye
My mind grapples to try n fathom
Why my heart does so soulfully cry
Starlit brightness my eyes once shone
To a future tinkling with laughter
Till hopes and thoughts destroyed and torn
My enthusiasm & spirits all in slaughter
An empty void filling my mind
No thoughts lingering enough to make sense
No conversation to make I find
My thoughts leading to make me seem dense.
Snap out of this limbo try as I might
Each day trying it with a new way
But I feel it drain out, the whole fight
As I wait for some new music to play.
A heart that once was
Is now in but a clench of pain
By your hurful actions n words
What did you really gain?
Bleeding and hurting
I was left to wither and die
Is it any wonder from the world
And You I now just shy.
Each accusation and each lie
Cutting through me like a knife
Causing so much of hurt
And so much more stress n strife.
When I pledged my life with you
My eyes shining oh so bright
To my life that was a tunnel
At the end of which you were the light.
Thirteen years down the line
You ask me what I have done for you
As if all these years have just flown past
And I am someone totally new.
I now just believe in the one above
The one who destines it all
The one in whom I take solace
For he picks me up after each fall.
Maybe its time for you to start out
And try to do the same…..
Start life afresh with all changes
And start a clean new game.
What do I from my life seek ??
My mind at its questioning peak..
Every moment asking me why?
From all thats around me I shy.
Where do I seek to go from here?
More questions as my grave I near
Will my soul transform and live on?
My body die to give my soul a new dawn?
Peace that my soul seeks come after I leave,
After people I leave behind just grieve.
To God now as seems my leaning
Searching on this journey some meaning.
A prayer …Unanswered
A dream turned nightmare
A broken heart in shreds
A lone tear drying up
A lonely soul crying out
A vicitim of maliciousness
A foolish heart that trusted
A label stuck by hatred
A shattered belief in another
A story repeats itself again.
A moment that went by..
A moment that was.
A memory to forget
And a life that has to live.
I walk along the road
Dragging my lonely feet
My thoughts too huge a load
Their weight a heavy beat.
Weary to the bone I see
Not a person to help me by
Sadness bearing down on me
Wish I could just go and fly.
Away from this cruel world
To a place that has no worry
Where Love has no hold
Nothing that makes me sorry
I may have outlived my life
For I am tired of living each day
Just weighed down by all the strife
Would God just hear my say?
Take me away with you
To a land so far away
To start a life afresh & new
Where fate doesnt have a say!
